Friday, October 1, 2010

October 1, 2010

Dear our much loved, and highly anticipated child,

So, again, I was devastated to find out that you were not ready yet. In this past week I have imagined having you growing in my belly and how you would become a part of our lives. I started imagining what your nursery would look like… what you might think of our two furry kids, and they of you. I tried to stay strong, because everyone told me not to get my hopes up too early, but when no one is looking – I can’t help but fall apart a little. It just feels like you’re an unobtainable dream. 

However, I have begun to realize that I really am not ready to be the mother I want to be. I have many things I need to work on as a person before I can possible raise another person the way I want to.
I want to be the type of mother that guides you to know and love your Savior, Jesus. I want to be patient and enjoy every moment with you – I don’t want to be distracted by insignificant tasks or worry about what other people think of my parenting. I want you to always feel loved and accepted, no matter what. I want to be able to teach you how to make good choices for your life. Most importantly I want to be able to give you the freedom to be the person God leads you to be. 

Until the day God believes I am ready for that momentous and exciting task – I will continue to pray for patience and the strength to become the person I need to be to accomplish it truly. 

Your loving, and hopeful, mother

September 24, 2010

Dear our much loved, and highly anticipated child,

We are so very excited for your arrival – right now you are simply a gleam in mine and your father’s eye, and God is working on His plan for your life. When He is ready, and He knows that we are ready to love and nurture you – we will be blessed with you. Then we’ll have to excitedly wait nine months until you arrive.
I know that this letter is a little early, but, we have been waiting for your pre-arrival-arrival for almost two years now… we cannot wait to love you and plan our lives together. I am currently holding thumbs, and praying endlessly that you have made that pre-arrival-arrival right now…but, we thought you were ready once before already, and it was devastating to find out that in fact you were not. You’re still with God, waiting for the right time to grace us with your presence.
I just pray for patience and understanding, because I am finding myself becoming impatient – I love you so very much already and am so excited to meet you!!

Love, Your Mother