Dear our much loved, and highly anticipated child,
So, again, I was devastated to find out that you were not ready yet. In this past week I have imagined having you growing in my belly and how you would become a part of our lives. I started imagining what your nursery would look like… what you might think of our two furry kids, and they of you. I tried to stay strong, because everyone told me not to get my hopes up too early, but when no one is looking – I can’t help but fall apart a little. It just feels like you’re an unobtainable dream.
However, I have begun to realize that I really am not ready to be the mother I want to be. I have many things I need to work on as a person before I can possible raise another person the way I want to.
I want to be the type of mother that guides you to know and love your Savior, Jesus. I want to be patient and enjoy every moment with you – I don’t want to be distracted by insignificant tasks or worry about what other people think of my parenting. I want you to always feel loved and accepted, no matter what. I want to be able to teach you how to make good choices for your life. Most importantly I want to be able to give you the freedom to be the person God leads you to be.
Until the day God believes I am ready for that momentous and exciting task – I will continue to pray for patience and the strength to become the person I need to be to accomplish it truly.
Your loving, and hopeful, mother