Wednesday, March 30, 2011

I am ready for this.... aren't I?

So, this Saturday is the baby shower of the mom-to-be half of The Couple.

I am nervous scared terrified!! I believe I am ready for it - I am in a good emotional place in my journey...

I think I am afraid of breaking down.... I do not want to run out of the room crying....

One good aspect of the shower -- a friend is coming with, and although she is related, and good friends, with the mom-to-be, she also understands my situation, and knows that I'm feeling anxious about the shower. So, I will have some moral support - someone's hand to squeeze if I'm feeling like I might lose it...

She is a new friend, and it's kind of ridiculous how excited I am to have a friend!! A real friend!!

Okay - I have many GREAT friends back home - but after living here for five years, I have only made one really good friend, and she left the country to go home; that was four years ago... so it's been a while since I've had a close friend, besides DH.

Back to my new friend - she is literally God-sent. She reached out to me when I was in a really low place, and things just lined up perfectly for our friendship to grow. It's actually even more than that...

I was talking to DH last night - about my new friend... because she made it clear that our friendship means a lot to her too when I told my ladies bible study about my anxiety about the shower (I cried...and hated that I did)... she said that she would be there and if I needed a break, she knows the venue well, and knows where we can go to "dance it off" (we have a common love for dancing, and specifically playing kinect dance games)... The fact that she offered to leave the shower, for me - if I needed a moment away... means so much to me (remember the mom-to-be and her are friends, and related).

Back to my point - I was telling DH how happy I was to finally have a real friend here, and then I realized that it was something I had been longing for and wanted so badly - yet, I hadn't actually prayed about it. So I turned to DH and asked him if he's ever had unprayered prayers answered... and I told him that I've had a few...

First - him... I wasn't really looking for marriage, but real love was something I have wanted my whole life and had never found, and although at first I was scared at the prospect of getting married so quickly... it was an unprayered prayer answered - I had found the man of my dreams - without praying for him.

Then - my new friend. I was lonely, in terms of girl friends, and had tried to make girl friends for years. But, I had never prayed for it.

DH casually says - I prayed for you to find a friend, because I knew how much you wanted it.
He also mentioned a while back how he had prayed for my faith to be restored, because he knew I used to be involved in church, but then left and really wanted nothing to do with church or faith. And now I'm at such a good place in my faith journey - having never known that he was praying for me the whole time!!!

It made me realize how lucky I am to have him in my life - he's more than I could ever have prayed for! Just as my friend is already more than I could have prayed for! God always answers prayers... even if they aren't yours.

I am so blessed to have such a wonderful husband. His strong faith never ceases to amaze me! Neither does his grace and love.

I will try to remember these blessings when I am sitting and celebrating someone else's blessing on Saturday.

1 comment:

  1. Great post - hoping you are able to stay strong and celebrate on Saturday. Glad you have found a friend to connect with.