Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Did I ask for your advice, or even your opinion?

So, my older brother and his girlfriend (whom I refer to as my SIL) of 15+ years have been toying with the idea of having kids... and I've been urging them to get started already....just in case. I honestly hope and pray that they get pregnant right away without any trouble at all - because they are in their mid-thirties and I wouldn't wish "this" on anyone!! I also feel that I will be ecstatic for them when they do fall pregnant, because it's time for them to start a family and the longer they wait the more complicated things get.

Anyways, during the period of time where I was having major difficulties coping with thinking I'm pregnant, then I'm not, then a couple "close" to us falling pregnant so easily*... etc etc.... I was talking to my SIL a lot and sharing everything with her - I'm very open about it all with my family...not at all with DH family, but that's another story.
Back to my point - she was always very quick to say that I should stop stressing about it.... because of course if we're thinking about it all the time and therefore talking about it all the time, we're stressing about it....
"yeah yeah - if we just stop thinking about it, it'll happen"

Now that they're trying (officially for 2 weeks when we spoke) - she can't stop thinking about it... even though she doesn't want to become all "OCD about it"... I had to laugh...
Really? Now that you're TTC, you can't control your thoughts and you're thinking about it all the time..... try two years of TTC!!!

It amuses me that people think you can just stop thinking about - like it's a switch we can turn off.... and why tell us that exactly? Do you think I want to always be thinking about it? Even when I'm not in the 2ww- over analyzing every hunger pang, urination, headache, weight gain, emotional reaction, heartburn..... - I'm still overly aware of how often we BD, what cycle day we BD on, how hot my showers are, how much caffeine I'm drinking, every pregnant person within a 5 mile radius of me at any given moment (this includes fictional characters on television shows).....
If there is a magical switch I can turn off -- please!! Let me know where it is!! Because I'd LOVE to be able to stop "stressing about it".

If you are not TTC, infertile, or "infertile".... then please do those of us who are a favor, and don't assume that we are happy to obsess... don't tell us to stop trying "because then it'll happen".... just offer a listening ear and some hopeful encouragement - like "good luck, you're in my prayers" not "it'll be your time soon", or "when the time is right".... blah blah blah.... you'll either end up making us very angry, or for those of us with a shred of patience left....just miserable and possibly tearful.

This is in no way about my SIL, because I love her to bits and know that she doesn't know any better... also - I'm still finding that aspect of TTC somewhat easy - to brush off the ignorant (and often insensitive) comments of family - because they mean well, so it doesn't really bother me.

So...rant over....
Hope the start of 2011 has been positive for all of you - if not.... next time AF arrives - have a Big Carl** "on me".

Baby dust to all TTC.

*how dare they, right? 
** Cougartown reference for those who are confused

1 comment:

  1. I LOVE Cougartown - I've found a Big Carl of my own - he's fantastic.